but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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