no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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