Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize