It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
