im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
