I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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