I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
