you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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