the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
