i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
