Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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