I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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