now i know why i became what i already was.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
