i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
