i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
