He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
