i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
