okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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