Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
