I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
whose parrot is this?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
