I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
