Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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