"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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