can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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