yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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