with your own penis?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
