Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
