yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
