Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize