I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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