He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
