we have officially lost it.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He passed out mid-signature
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
