she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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