i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
