Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Bring me that man meat
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
