so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Im part way to drunk.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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