so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
