Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
