Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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