My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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