You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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