So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
