last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
