Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
