If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
