Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
