Don't make out with my wife yet
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
