Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
