what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
