I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
