Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
