Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
