South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When are your genitals available?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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