Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Acid is not a monday night drug
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
