He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
