I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
