I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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