I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
please come you make the beer taste better
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's blow job season.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
