You smell like a Billy Joel song
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
