Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize