summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
