Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize