apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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